Solitude

I'm feeling the need for solitude very acutely these days.  I am never alone in my house.  It's not that the people around me are difficult to be around, quite the opposite, actually, but as an introvert, I feel refreshed when I can be alone with my thoughts and have long stretches of time to myself.  I don't get that here.  I spend long stretches of time on the computer, which is a poor substitute for solitude, but it is one of the ways I tune out the world and escape.

I recently realized how many times during the day I am interrupted with questions, the phone ringing, text messages, etc...  Normally, I'm not really bothered by it.  It's so much a part of my daily life that I don't even notice that it's happening, but I've been listening to some audiobooks in the last few days, and I am actually surprised at how often I am pulled away from what I am doing to help someone else.

It's okay.   I'm a mom.  It's what I do, but it highlights my need to take care of myself because I'm becoming impatient and cranky with the interruptions.  Normally, I do get away by myself once a year or so, and I also get away with girlfriends once a year or so.  I haven't done that this year, and I am craving some time alone,...to water the garden of my soul. I'm sneaking in a garden metaphor because I haven't done anything more to create my physical garden, but am very much doing the inner work of cultivating my spirit for future growth.

The Hermit from the Shadowscapes tarot deck